Saturday, May 28, 2011

We're Not Cleaners...

Anyone who's known me for a long time (& my mom) knows that we are not the most organized of women.

We are hard workers.  We are super responsible.  We are sincere.  We are committed.  We are avid readers.  We are consistent.

We are not quitters.  We are not fake.  We are not unimaginative.  We are not extroverts.

We are also not cleaners.



Keeping in mind that Tony and I will be arriving in Jersey this Thursday afternoon to stay for sixteen glorious Shore-filled days, I know that my mom has been "readying" the house for at least two weeks ahead by the time we land in Philly.  We both work and then relax when we come home + I cook, which my mom does not have much need to these days since my brother is well-fed by his pretty fiance.  Even at work, my desk is often overwhelmed with papers, essay, graded tests, projects, etc., which is to be expected I suppose of English teachers, but mine are not always in pretty or distinguishable piles :/  I do, however, plan each class well, rarely have extra time at the end of a class period (meaning I teach bell-to-bell), and fit a lot of literature into two semesters.  My mom can probably name a list ten times the previous one that she is able to accomplish at her management position that she's held for over thirty-two years.



We're just not cleaners...

So, today when Tony was looking for his car keys in order to leave for a free-lancing job, I started scouring my (little messy) apartment.  I opened my backpack that I guess I haven't used since the last time I went to Jersey (for Christmas) and found two pairs of glasses.  I was so happy because I just recently broke (for the second time) my awesomely huge brownish glasses from China (all of these are prescription by the way).  I was down to my small brown ones (from the States).  I had a black wire pair (China) that had lost one of the plastic nose pads, which I finally had fixed...because I had misplaced the small brown ones too (Sheesh).  I now have the repaired black ones, the small brown ones, and today in the backpack I found my beloved red pair (China) and bigger black pair with the violet inlay frames (States).  I am back to FOUR options of glasses again...still waiting to see if Black Optical on Brookside can fix my huge, obnoxious brown ones.

I'm trying to console myself for feeling guilty at times for not being more organized by taking in this grand feeling of finding two pairs of glasses and saying that finding things randomly is cool too, you know, instead of always having what you own all the time...

So This Is Love...

I just need to say that signing up alone for Pre-Marital Counseling at our church, Sanctuary, has REVOLUTIONIZED our relationship.

We had to buy this book:


Now, I honestly thought we had to buy it, like we were going to use it for the Pre-Marital Class the next day after I bought it.  Then I realized that it was a suggested read, which I'm glad I didn't know before, or else I wouldn't have bought it...or at least not right away... I would've looked for a dirt cheap one from Half.com.  Anyway, soon after purchasing the book, we both took the profile assessments to see our main love language.  We both have Acts of Service and Quality Time as the top two ranked languages.  You can take the quizzes here:


We have read through over half of the book since last Saturday.  I am not big on self-help-ish kind of books.  I am not big on cheesy stuff at all, but I am pretty sold on anything that makes people actually see each other and talk about important critical things, especially when it comes to relationships, and of course, especially when it comes to marriage.
Within one week of reading and recognizing each other as certainly an "other," someone who is not me, we have begun to handle conflict so much more effectively.  We have spent hours at a time talking about the issues this book brings up, what it really means to be selfless, and when we knew that the "in love" fuzzies had gone away and this was for real.  Tony and I faced a lot of external conflict when we first began which forced us to put an unfathomable amount of value on each other and the relationship.  Though I did not enjoy the conflict as it was happening, it helped us to get through the time a new relationship could lose its luster or feeling of novelty.  We had "fought" to be together, so we decided we were worth sticking around, even when it got to be mundane and everyday-ish.
More and more, I find us becoming partners...not just in the romantic sense, but in business, life decisions, and finances.  We just recently worked together while taking engagement photos for his brother and his fiance.  Before reading this book, or perhaps just before we'd really had a starting place for serious, intimate conversations, we might've treated the day as a "work only" experience and not as a perhaps unorthodox way to build our relationship.  By Tony noticing when I was getting tired after 3 1/2 hours of strategically holding a light reflector and by him not letting himself get annoyed by my not maintaining the level of excitement he's able to keep during a project until it's totally completed, he showed me a lot of love.  His understanding and refusal to treat me as just an assistant and not his partner in life really showed me that he sees me...

Monday, May 23, 2011

I am a little crazy over my new iPhone...

got the iPhone 4...my first iPhone ever...even though I've had AT&T since 2002...and...

I've uploaded photos like crazy...
Downloaded a gazillion apps...
Talked to Tony on video chat on Skype, while he's on his laptop in the next room...
Rapidly replied to facebook messages and wall posts...
Tweeted photos...
Dominated in Words with Friends!!


Love the Free App, Instagram, download it if you haven't already :)

P.S. Still in love with my engagement ring...just in case you were wondering...

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Jehovah Jireh

Just wanted to take the time to say that God is such a provider.  He really is.   Most of you may be in this constantly-cognizant state of just knowing that God is really just a wonderful provider, but some of you may be like me and get the pathetic-stressed-out-panicky-forgetful times in your life....and sometimes I need reminders.

Lately, God has been just poking up reminders all over the place:  from a random guy handing me 3 extra food tickets at Mayfest tonight while we were in line for a lamb gyro (yum) to Tony getting a random payment for helping a beautiful couple do something on a computer.  The Lord has really been showing up in very noticeable ways.

I know I should be more "spiritual" than this and search for God, even in the barely noticeable things and times...but I wanted to take the time to say that I'm grateful that He's made it easy on me lately.  A good, brighter season has definitely come upon Tony and I and I want to soak in every moment of it, to bury these feelings in my heart, like Mary, so that I can pull them out to ponder on when we get to a dryer patch on our path further along down the line.

So, in the words of Anne Lamott, "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Adam's Rib

The incomparable Katherine Hepburn
Tony & I watched this movie on Sunday evening.
I heart Katherine Hepburn.  My favorite movie of hers is, of course, The Philadelphia Story.

The Philadelphia Story - one of the many classics
where I identify with the female lead very closely...











However, films that feature her and Spencer Tracy are divine as well, given their off-stage romantic history.  Tony and I laughed and enjoyed this.  I was a little shocked while watching because though the show the married couple having separate beds (it was the time period), Katherine and Spencer do have a "rub down" (massage) scene that is very charmingly weird and a couple off-camera scenes where they're kissing, I'm sure...eek.  However, this at times cheesy movie is a must see.

Spencer & Katherine













But seriously, how could you not think he was a 'G'?
Because I recently purchased a 4-movie Hepburn DVD set from half.com, we've been watching a lot of her.  I'm sure Tony liked Bringing Up Baby much more because he thinks Cary Grant is a 'G', but Spencer Tracy may win him over yet.

I hope you too can learn, if you don't already, to enjoy old classics...







Adam's Rib:



P.S.  If you're familiar with the musical, Singing in the Rain, see if you can find an icon from that film get one of her first screen roles in this movie.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Hmmmm.

I remember when I first saw this...back in 2001...high school.  LOVED Jill Scott from the first single, "Long Walk."
I remember how much I loved that she had such a large string section behind her.  Watching this on the little TV in my living room was nothing short of magical.  Now I have someone of my own to sing this about forever :)


I Got a Fi-Ancy Now :)

Where to start... Well, if you look to the previous post, you'll notice that I've been excited for awhile about our future, especially for this summer.

We've been talking about marriage, timing, and plans because we know that he's starting at his dream school, SCAD University in the fall.  I started to notice something "fishy" about the way he was acting this past Wednesday afternoon/evening.  I complained the other day (not really) that he never just plans a date...don't get me wrong, we go out all the time and we hang out a lot, but I complained that he never just planned out a whole night before... So, when he told me he wanted to take me to Yokozuna's downtown on Friday, I just thought he was trying to be a planner.  I told him we didn't have to go out, since we're saving for Jersey in the summer and all his school needs for e-learning this fall.  He said he wanted one last hurrah, so I agreed.  However, he changed the time to go out to dinner a couple of times and spent a lot of time with D'mitri (his brother and my next-door neighbor), so I started thinking something was up.

He then started making sure that I was going to "dress up" for our date...so I just let my imagination run wild.  I told a friend at work on Thursday that I thought he was going to propose...on Thursday night, I texted my friend Jessica, that I've known since the 8th grade to tell her my "secret" that he was going to propose...all the while just going off of my intuition.

I woke up on Friday morning, and even felt my left ring finger and said to myself, "You're going to get a ring tonight."  I thought about it all day at school and knew my students were going to make the hugest deal out of it next Monday when I showed up with a rock on my finger...

I came back to my apartment after school and was feeling blah because I had forgotten to do something important the previous week (cryptic, I know).  Tony came over around 5pm-ish and we just hung out until around 8pm when we got ready to go.


When we arrived at Yokozuna's.  I realized there was no one there waiting for us.  I realized he had no big object in his jean pocket (like a ring box).  There was even a waiting list to be sat, which we'd never experienced before at Yokozuna's.  Suddenly, all my imaginings and texts and conversations at work made me feel foolish.  I felt like Pam on The Office that night at the end of season four, when Jim intends to propose and the Good-bye, Toby Party, but then Andy steals his thunder and surprisingly proposes to Angela and all of Pam's hopes were dashed.  She teared up at the end of the episode because she'd seen the fireworks and thought Jim would propose, but he didn't.  I felt like an idiot.  So, I told him...



That's right, as we waited to be sat, I told Tony that I had thought he was going to propose that night.  I thought everyone would be here at Yokozuna's waiting for us, that he'd have brought his camera, that he's planned something big...  I told him I felt like a fool.  I told him I was disappointed.  Obviously, he could see that I was crushed.  He laughed a little and thought it was funny I'd thought that.  He did his best to just cheer me up, since I looked so devastated.  We were quickly sat at our "usual" table, since that's where they usually sit us (clever, I know).  He ordered the General Tso Beef and I ordered the Thai fish tacos with Tempura battered sweet potato fries.  We then got two rolls of sushi, a spicy tuna roll and a Rising Sun roll (which I highly recommend).  He used my cell to call D'mitri claiming that he didn't think he locked my apartment door when we left.  I thought that was ridiculous, but was so sad that I was wrong, I kept telling myself he's just acting weird on purpose now to tease me.

We waited a while for the food because the were so busy.  Finally we ate and Tony was pretty insistent about getting a dessert, which we never do at restaurants.  When the dessert took so long to come out, we cancelled the order and left.  He decided to run by his mom's house to check something, which I thought was weird, but I'd just been crushed yet had a nice dinner, so I just wanted to go back to my place and hang out.  Then he made a weird turn and wanted to go to a park we'd gone to a long time ago when we were first dating.  At that point, I had built myself up for over 48 hours that I was going to get engaged that night, only to be terribly disappointed.  I didn't want to get my hopes up again.  I didn't even ask any questions...I just let him drive wherever.

Then he parked and told me to get out, that we should go on the swings.  It was pretty chilly last night, so I almost didn't do it.  We get out and walk toward the swings.  Then he started acting really weird...saying weird stuff...and I could've sworn I heard whispers in the dark in the trees.  So, he started trying to do his rap that I know he used to do when he was in high school...something about getting all the ladies... He was "rapping" really loudly...then I hear music--"Moon River" by Audrey Hepburn from Breakfast at Tiffany's that we'd just listened to the other night.  I see tons of people coming out of the trees with signs, pictures, and red flares.  I see a big boombox, lol, which is obviously where the music is coming from.  I have on my glasses, but believe me when I tell you, I didn't know who a lot of the people were; I have terrible eye sight.  When everyone got close enough, I saw each sign had a different word, "Will" "You" "Marry" "Me?"

The "Me?" sign is my favorite, because it's Tony as a little boy and he's adorable.  I think when you see this picture up close, you will believe like I do that Tony was the kind of kid that when you called his name to come here he was probably just about to touch/do something crazy or had to pull his hands out of something crazy (i.e. mud, a bowl of sauce, cookie dough someone had to leave on the counter, etc.)  He then repeated something beautiful he'd said in the car on the way there.  He said having me in his life was his "earth," that it's what he lived on.  He said he wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.

He then retrieved the beautiful ring from his niece, Ariel, and got down on one knee.  When he opened the box, it lit up.  How fancy :)  Before he even got on his knees, I was AUDIBLY crying.  He cried while he proposed, that was enough for me.  I know we've been committed to each other in our hearts at this level for awhile now, so it was beautiful to bring what's been in our hearts into the real world.

Everyone then came close enough for me to recognize them.

Thank you, Josh and LaKisha Clemmons, Johnisha Stanton, Merlyn Oommen, Bryant Hamilton, Pastor Mike and Miss Ramona, Joya and Archie Cleveland (and Tre).  Thank you to my new family, Tameisha Walker, D'mitri Willis, Mandy Merrell, Robert Walker, and Ariel Sanchez.

Also, a special shout out to James Sims on the video camera and Yolanda Easily on the Cannon Rebel :)


I could barely see the ring in the dark, but I could feel that it was solid and I knew I'd love it.  Tony paid cold, hard cash.  Once he got accepted to SCAD, his priority turned toward school, so he spent his tax return and money that would've gone to a new Cannon 5D Mark II on the ring...no financing for my Fi-Ancy :)

We're so happy.  We've been together for over a year and half now...sometimes people cheer for us, sometimes people haven't.  However, we've been blessed from the first day and will continue to be into perpetuity.  Thank you for all that have sent congratulations.  We feel so loved.

Information regarding the wedding/reception will be soon coming.  Now you'll know why I'm asking for your addresses soon :)

Again, thank you to all who weren't able to come b/c of work or anything else.  Tony did such an awesome job with creativity and planning...a Part 2 or updated version may even be in order when I have time to think back on it later.

[All Photo Credits to Yolanda Easily :) ]

Except this last one, my baby took ~